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Monday, 17 October 2011

MONDAY MUSING: Illness sucks.

 I went to the doctors after three weeks of being snuffly and it eventually evolving into some kind of hell born demon disease and now I've been diagnosed with a viral infection. The only problem with such an infection is that a doctor will do NOTHING, because there is nothing they can do as it's all down on you to get some fresh fruit and veg down you as well as some clear fluid.

Now to most this would be a reasonable thing: stay in bed and laze about while stuffing your face with grapes and water; not a bad lot in life, you may not feel well but hey you'll get there. To me though, I hate it because of one simple fact: I hate being ill. Even though it gives me a guilt free pass to be a lazy ass, it's one of the banes of my very existence.

Why you ask?

 Well firstly, I rarely get ill, so when I do it's some sort of hell born demon disease as described above. It never seems to leave and it always is severely painful or unpleasant. Which is not very nice. Sweating, fevers, vomiting and the like have never really been things I enjoy but that always seems to be my symptoms. After nights of not being able to sleep, not being able to eat I just feel terrible and want to lock myself in my room for fear of scaring the poor innocents around me as I turn into some sort of horrible green ill monster. When it does eventually go though, it's almost enough to turn me religious (as it is almost miracle like) and I do like to get up and about straight away. Which leads on to...

Reason number two I don't like being ill is the genuine helplessness and inability to function. I don't like staying in bed, I like to relax but I can't stand not being able to do things and not being able to go out and converse with people or simply stare blindly at the tv. I like being up and about so being knocked off my feet by illness sucks. It really destroys me both physically and mentally. The inability to move a limb is something that really pains me as every tiny ting becomes a chore. It makes me feel helpless and that's a position I've never been entirely comfortable with. So that feeling of helplessness can often lead me to push myself into getting better, which often makes things worse. Which makes being ill suck even more.

 I don't know how it is for everyone else but this is just how I feel towards not feeling well and even though some may disagree with me completely;' I genuinely feel this way. My fever dreams are getting ridiculously uncanny and surreal, so I just hate being ill. Period.

Monday, 10 October 2011

MONDAY MUSING: Beauty and the pen.

"Be grateful for and celebrate the beauty in all things because beauty is everywhere; and ignore all limitations and boundaries wherever they are found, because they are illusion."
- David F Sanders


 I look at this quote and think just this: wow. The reason? Well it's because David F Sanders in this one line speaks something I've believed my whole life. It is a fact that beauty is everywhere and the limitations and boundaries we encounter are often the illusions of our own mind. This beauty and these illusions have always inspired me to write, in fact, I did often write a lot in open parks and other strange outdoor locations because they were particularly glorious. This is the reason I take my journal everywhere with me; because if beauty is everywhere then so too is inspiration.

 Yet, since coming to Sheffield to study, I have written little and writing sessions have become few and far between. I'm not sure what it is whether it is worry, drink or many other things but one thing I do attribute it to is that in the city there aren't many pretty places to go write. Well, I say that there isn't any; it may just be a case of me not having discovered them yet. Yet, this lack of a place I can go sit and think is one of the foremost thoughts in my head everyday and every single night. 

It is almost haunting me that I wish for a small place for a piece of tranquility and clarity above all things; a place or person of such beauty that it may feed my starving imagination and once again reignite the flame of creativity within me. Like a single spark to dry wood. Yet, this will probably never be the case; as a stranger in Sheffield I dare not step foot outside my little room into the massive colossal city filled with noise and people and places. I don't know whether it's because I'm afraid of getting lost or whether it simply is due to homesickness. I really cannot put a finger onto why writing has actually began to get 'difficult' for me. It maybe because I'm being challenged on this course, it maybe because I am not a good writer. 

Or maybe even I'm afraid.

Who knows, for I certainly don't but I do hope that I can find a place to return the spark of wanting to write back to me because otherwise doing a creative writing course may actually be more difficult then I ever imagined. 

Sunday, 9 October 2011

REVIEW: Kerrang! Presents Nirvana Nevermind Forever

Album Name: Nirvana Nevermind Forever
Artist: Various Artists
Record Label:  Various Labels
Release Date: 24th Sept 2011

Track List:
1. Arcane Roots - Smells Like Teen Spirit
2. Framing Hanley - In Bloom
3. Deaf Havana - Come As You Are
4. Rise To Remain - Breed
5. Francesqa - Lithium
6. Young Guns - Polly
7. The Dillinger Escape Plan - Territorial Pissing
8. Kids In Glass Houses - Drain You
9. Evile - Lounge Act
10. The Black Out - Stay Away
11. Frank Turner - On A Plain
12. Spycatcher - Something In The Way
13. Dangerous! - Endless, Nameless
14. {Bonus} We Are The Ocean - Sliver

Review
My step-dad may find it weird that I'm reviewing this album as we often argue about the fact that I'm not a big fan of Nirvana; yet, when I saw the list of bands that were going to be on this CD I was amazed. Half of my favorite bands would be playing tribute to the fact Nevermind, which in it's own right is an iconic record, had occurred two decades ago. It's older then me by a year! So, what's it like?

 The compilation itself has some cracking artist who not only wish to pay tribute to Nevermind but bring their own thing to the table in this CD. One of the songs this is probably most apparent in is the start track and probably Nirvana's most famous song Smells Like Teen Spirit covered by Arcane Roots. Now, for anyone to cover this song is pretty ambitious and everyone would probably admit you could never do it justice but Arcane Roots' take on the grunge classic is epic bringing hardcore esque guitar to an iconic track. Their emulation of the track into their own thing may cause a divide in opinion but it is skillful nonetheless and this theme continues throughout the CD. Bands continually take the songs and twist them into grunge/ their genre hybrids which actually makes the album very enjoyable to listen to. You can tell that even those whom try to keep the song to the original like Framing Hanley in the second track: In Bloom breathe new life into the track.

 And the songs on this CD not only convey the sense of respect but fun had by the bands whom have all worked on the tracks; you can actually hear that all the bands involved in the project have chosen songs close to their hearts and really had fun recording them. They probably also know they cannot be Nirvana, they cannot get the same response from these tracks as Nirvana did but that's not what the CD is to them; it's a way to pay homage and I'm not denying it gets them more publicity but Nirvana were (even if I don't like them) a huge turning point in music. so what musician would pass up the opportunity to be on this album.

 Even so, how could you choose who to put on the album? Kerrang obviously had to think hard on who to put in the compilation and in my eyes they did and awesome job with some of them. The caliber of acts on this disc is amazing and would be hard to top. Framing Hanly, Francesqa, The Blackout and many others all in the same place is pretty amazing and is pretty inspirational.

RATING: 3 & 1/2 As
Even though the album is good and I thoroughly believe there needs to be more rock artist compilations like this CD there is some issues I have to point out. Surprisingly Deaf Havana, Young Guns and Fracesqa pulled it out of the bag with their covers, I knew they were going to be good but they exceeded all my expectations almost blowing my mind like explosivo from Tenacious D. Yet, some songs just didn't cut it for me and with me already not being a Nirvana fan it was pretty much a sort of rating handicap songs like Territorial Pissings by The Dillenger Escape Plan and Frank Turner's On a Plain really didn't sit well in my gut and there were a few others like that too. I really should've liked them but just couldn't. This makes like 80% of the album good and that 20% not even worth listening to.

Thursday, 6 October 2011

REVIEW: Ed Sheran - +

Album Name: +
Artist: Ed Sheeran
Record Label: Atlantic
Release Date: 12th Spet 2011


Track List:
1. The A Team
2. Drunk
3. U.N.I
4. Grade 8
5. Wake Me Up
6. Small Bump*
7. This
8. The City
9. Lego House
10. You Need Me, I Don't Need You
11. Kiss Me 
12. Give Me Love


Review:
You've heard The A Team like a thousand times on every chart show, from every fan girl and boy (but from my experience it's mostly boys who would probably turn gay for ginger Ed.) and now the album's out. So, you have two choices by the CD and support the sofa living singer or rip it off the net for free and keep him on the sofa. I chose the first option, not because of the sofa mind you but more because CD quality is always better then rip especially if you want to review an album.
 So, I've never been on the Ed Sheeran band wagon like a few of my mates were but I thought it would be a nice investment to get plus to chill in my room to. It's all pretty much acoustic songs so it's that kind of chill out and do some homework CD. In fact I'm going to put it on right now. So, let's actually get to talking about the album not from a fangirl/boys point of view but from a point of view less skewed. For a debut album + is something I personally would be very proud of; Ed Sheeran's ability is clearly on display in this CD and it is a testament to independent singer/ song writers everywhere. Ed here proves that his quality lyric writing is one of the key things in his music and he flaunts this talent quite frequently with similes and metaphors galore. An example of this would be in Track 10 You need me, I don't need you when he mentions how people rate him as an artist like when they say he's 'up and coming' and he subverts this in the lyric 'they say I'm up and coming/ like I'm fucking in an elevator'. As a creative writing student I do really admire Ed's use of rhythm and his word play. Technically it's absolutely flawless and clever beyond belief. I'd challenge anyone to write songs half as good as Ed does structure wise. 
 Moreover, I'd challenge them to hit the heartstrings as much as Ed does especially in my favourite song of the album Track 6 Small Bump. Whether autobiographical or not Ed Sheeran's songs have such deep rooted meanings that it is hard not love most of them. Small Bump still makes me cry a little bit everytime I hear it because the song matter is rather tragic. These emotional song lyrics are again something that I deeply admire Ed for. His song writing and tracks are superb and as said before I challenge anyone to make a song like Ed's.


RATING: AAAAA


Although I'm not a major Ed Sheeran fan I do respect Ed very much. His hard work and dedication are very admirable qualities that a musician and writer must have in order to do what they love and this album is a testament to Ed making it past all the trials he's faced from living on a couch to doing over 1000 shows. What he does is brilliant and this album is brilliant and he deserves what he has; the fans, the shows, the press even the really annoying bum boys. So, I can't wait to hear more of Ed's stuff in the future and wish him all the best because this album is cracking and I'd recommend it to anyone.








* = My personal favorite Track

Prose: Creative Writing Exercise - Dialogue

Author's Notes: So, in today's lecture we were talking about Characters and Dialogue and we had two tasks. First we created characters and then in pairs we were told to make our two characters engage in a dialogue; I was partnered with my friend Liam and his Journalist character, Alistair Foil, actually seemed to fit well with my undertaker Tobias Black. So we got this dialogue going and I actually quite liked it and said I'd finish it. I thought it'd be nice for it to go on here as like, yeah, I haven't really been doing much. Anyhoo, here goes the new remastered, polished version.


 The death of governor Quentin Beckett was a huge surprise to many, such a large local character was going to leave a huge hole in the community. It was truly a sad event and now Alistair Foil, journalist, was determined to be the man with the scoop. This was a huge story and he knew he could not mess up. In front of him sat the undertaker Tobias Black, owner of his family business Black & Sons. The two had not been together long at all. So wasting no time, Alistair took up his pen and began the interview: "What details can you give me on the funeral arrangements Mr. Black?"
"That's for the family to decide Mr. Foil, not undertakers."
Tobias' bluntness took Alistair by surprise. "I'm detecting there's something you don't want to tell me Mr.Black."
The undertaker sat up, putting his hands together in an odd triangular shape and replied with pursed lips. "Have you ever lost anyone Mr Foil?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Simple question."
"Well, yes."
"Who?"
"People."
"Family?"
"Yes."
"A parent?"
"Yes Mr. Black." said Alistair curtly "Why am I telling you this exactly?" The situation had become uncomfortable for Alistair, now that the interviewer had for some reason become the interviewee.
"Just interest Mr. Foil."
"Ok Mr. Black, so-"
"I lost my Dad too."
"I'm sorry to hear that but-"
"But what Mr. Foil?"
"That's not the point."
"Humour me."
"Fine." Alistair agreed begrudgingly.
"When I lost my Father I wanted to be alone. To have space, time."
"Yes, Mr. Black can we hurry this up?"
"A second Mr. Foil, my point will become clear."
"A second you have Mr. Black." spat Alistair growing more uncomfortable.
"Then a second I'll take, Mr. Foil, with all due respect I expect you like me to have wished for space yourself when your Father died. Take that as thou wilt but bearing in mind Governor Quentin was more then a politician but also a Father and a Husband and a Friend. Do you really think what you're doing is really appropriate? Would you have wished for someone to pry into your Father's funeral?"
 In that moment Tobias had completely disarmed Alistair, he had in all honesty no idea what to say. He looked at his pen and paper and then at the undertaker opposite him whom although young in years had been the victim to premature graying in his hair. Alistair began to think that maybe the graying of Tobias' hair was not to spite him but to reflect the uncanny amount of wisdom the young man had. Alistair sat in awe and was surprised as he replied to the question asked of him. "No, no I would not appreciate it at all."

Friday, 30 September 2011

Prose: Creative Writing Exercise - Showing not Telling

At my first creative writing seminar we were charged with a task where instead of telling readers directly about the situation that our protagonists found themselves in we should use description to 'show' the reader their plight. Now I did a situation about a boy who hates going to his father's now that his Father has a new girlfriend as old as he is, I tried and failed at the task I think. I don't know why but I just couldn't seem to write that well and in all the whole piece was drivel. That's why when Thomas Cornhill one of my classmates read out his work about the same situation and quite frankly took a gigantic dump all over mine; I decided I should rework my piece. So, here goes.


 In the beginning, this walk would've been natural. This corridor would not have seemed so long and Billy wouldn't be grinding his teeth to the point of almost excruciating pain. Now is not the beginning and Billy's only wish that all of this would come to a quick and decisive end. His wish would probably never be granted. He'd have to trudged his way down the corridor of flats towards number 7A, once a haven now a hell.
 However, the dread that filled his face at the door and the shakes it gave him were almost unbearable to the point where he stood at the door wishing for it to disappear. His grief was washing over him once again, paling his face like that of a ghost and his hand hit the door with all the force of his anger.
"Hold on."
The female voice from behind the door hurt as if Billy had just broken both his knee caps. His eyes widened with rage. He didn't know she was going to be here, this was never a part of the plan and this was certainly not what Billy wanted right now. He turned away from the voice that was causing him such inner distress and was about to leave but the door swung open. In door frame stood Alva, once a classmate of Billy's and at one time a friend, not even a month after his Mother's death though; she was now his father's lover and it just grated under his skin. Every breathe she took was like a kick to the testicles, every moment she was around him felt like hours of torture but apparently somethings were more important then how Billy felt. Well, that is what his father had said. Billy just nodded at Alva and walked straight in admiring the flat that he had once inhabited with his Father and Mother, it was foreign to him. It made him feel sick. The decor was not what he remembered his mother's rugs were gone and the once white walls were now filled with paintings. Billy soon remembered that Alva had sat next to him in art class. He sat in another unfamiliar room, the kitchen, followed by Alva whom was as graceful as ever offering him all but the world on a plate. Billy thought this was down to guilt, the fact that Alva couldn't bare sleeping in a dead women's bed before she'd even turned cold in the ground or maybe even that she was trying to mother him. That would never happen.
 He just continued to tap awkwardly at the table infront of him, his rage sometimes getting the better of him and scaring Alva sometimes with the force with which he hit the table. Billy however, just stared at the clock which mocked him by moving ever so slower and the door which also mocked him by not having his father burst through it as if it were some kind of carnival. Yet, as he waited, he wasn't sure whether he could physically stomach the sight of his father. No more then he could stand Alva, the new decor or the place he currently found himself in. Grief had changed Billy. It crept under his skin every second, of every, minute, of everyday. Grief was making him push his family away; as well as tearing what was left of his family apart.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

NEWS AND UPDATES: Two CD Reviews.

In case you didn't watch the video, this is a short message detailing two new reviews that should be going live on the Authorial. Both are CDs and will be as follows:

  • Ed Sheeran's +
  • Kerrang Presents Nirvana: Nevermind Forever.
Should be fun check back tomorrow.

VLOG: Fresher's Video Diary 4 FINALE!

A finale makes it sound pretty exotic but this is the end of the Fresher's saga of videos; it's pretty short just a quick overview of a visit to Jen in Worcester and some news and updates. Check it out.

Monday, 26 September 2011

MONDAY MUSING: If age is but a number does that rule apply for mileage?

There is approximately 84 miles between Sheffield and Worcester.
That means that there is 84 miles between me and my girlfriend, her warm smile, her beautiful blue eyes and as you can quite tell; it's not a comforting thought to know that the person to whom your heart belongs is almost 100 miles away. However, when you look at the distance between Sheffield and Northampton being approximately 82 miles in itself, I suddenly feel at ease for if home is only 2 miles shorter then where Jennifer is then it's not all doom and gloom for us.

 I can still call home, 'home', at that distance so if that applies then I can still call love, 'love', from 84 miles and I do want to still call Jennifer my love because I care a lot for her and it seems as though like age can sometimes be defined as 'just a number' I am also taking that sort of approach for the distance between me and my girlfriend.

 Now, I'm not going to lie at all: it is hard. Me and Jenni used to pretty much to be stuck to each other at the hip and we'll meet people, both of us, and our minds may wonder off for a brief second. or we may mess up completely. Yet, if that's the way it's going to work, that's the way it's going to work. I can't change that, I will try to fight the distance and spend as much as I can to see the lovely Jennifer as often as possible but the only people that can actually make distance something of a hindrance is the two of us. I know I'm not the only person who feels this way. Thousands of couples all over Britain are being ripped apart by University, well I say 'ripped' but that's forceful, so let's say separated. These couples like me are all feeling lost and confused about their other halves and some by rights have cause to be; University can be a wild time but to be honest the other half is probably thinking the exact same thing as you are when they look out into the night and wonder where their loved one is.

 So, having visited Jen and enjoyed a time that wasn't as if we hadn't seen each other in ages but instead like it was seconds since we last held hands. I am pretty sure that distance can be tackled, time can only tell but all seems positive at the moment and with plenty of time to go, I feel as if a huge weight on my shoulders has been lifted. I'm trying my best not to mess up and I may do, I probably will do but I can't live in fear of that anymore. I can't constantly be second guessing myself because my girlfriend lives so many miles away now. Others are coping. I also seem to be coping. So, with this in mind I think that after all the worry I've had deep down about the distance between me and Jen; I think we can make it through. I love her. She says she loves me (and to be honest proves it a hell of a lot of the time). It's simple and sorted. No room for error or misjudgment, I just have to live my life without regrets.

 And I don't regret anything. I love Jenni and therefore am proud of what she's managing to achieve with or without me personally. We just need to make every second we do spend with each other great and spectacular which she does without trying. So next time you think distance is an issue, kick back to reflect on what you mean by that statement: is it really and issue? or is it just one for you?

VLOG: Fresher's Video Diary 3

The second to last installment of my Freshers Video diary has a few topics in and I am desperately trying to fix the sound on my videos a lot of complaints about volume but I don't want to shout so I will work on it. I promise. However, enjoy and hopefully we'll see the final installment up today as well!

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

VLOG: Fresher's Video Diary 2

Things seem to be getting messy in the second installment of the video diary: alcoholic amnesia and bar fights are just a littl;e tiny bit of trouble I've started getting myself into from Monday night till today. Messy times. Check it.

Monday, 19 September 2011

VLOG: Fresher's Video Diary 1

A video about my first couple of days starting at Hallam going to try and make one everyday of Fresher's just for the crack. It should be a fun experience really, hopefully it will all work out in the end and I'll survive long enough to complete the series.

MONDAY MUSING: When's a house a home?

After moving into my student accommodation, setting it up as I like it and having all my stuff here; I asked myself the very question you see in the title: When do you call somewhere 'home'? Is there a certain point? A checklist? A time-frame? I'm not really sure but when I stay in my flat it does feel rather... 'homey' Y'know? And I'm not talking boys in the hood homie either, I'm talking about the fact I'm actually enjoying where I'm staying. It feels nice to have my own space and now that the l; laptop, Xbox and everything's here, I myself, am beginning to feel a more humble abode feeling to the whole of this new place.

 It's not just that but my flatmates feel like good people too, I like them quite a lot and I know for a fact I could have done much worse then the four people I've got now. Last night was proof of that, they were fun and friendly and we had a blast; which is what you need I think as you move into foreign areas, a nice relaxed environment with plenty of joy or laughter. If you start as you mean to go on, you can't really go wrong can you?

Even the city of Sheffield feels warm and welcoming as I explored today, as if there was some sort of connection and since I came here the first time it did in fact pull on my heart strings but you know how it is. It's like a calling and I simply had to answer. So, what does this mean? I dunno. I don't have a clue. I'm going out tonight and my course introduction is at 10.30 am tomorrow. Happy days. So, if you want to keep up with my Fresher's Week Shenanigans watch the youtube channel as I attempt to make a video diary of every day of the whole event! Even though it's a fortnight here in Sheffield. All I can is this is gunna get messy! Also aswell if your a tweeter follow me on twitter for even more funny antics.

 Till next time!

Friday, 9 September 2011

BLOG: Happy 1st Birthday to the Adderson Authorial.

 On this day last year, a dream started. An attempt to make a dream come true started; I remember that I needed to make up a portfolio for my desire to take a creative writing course at Uni. Hence the Adderson Authorial was born and this post here celebrating it's birthday will be the 150th post to grace it's face and I'm glad, so so glad, that this hasn't died. Why you ask because that means the dream hasn't died.

And that dream still exists today but the Authorial itself has evolved as has the dream with YOUTUBE and now even Twitter the Authorial is now bigger and better then ever before, which is great. It all started off as just stories at one time but then I became confident enough to express my opinion and grow and I owe that all to only a few bunch of people; my friend, my family and my readers.

 The past year wouldn't have happened without the vast amounts of support and inspiration that I get from the people around me. It's scary to think what could not have been were it not for all these people, my blog has had a lot of hits, youtube is getting a few views and I am trying on Twitter but in essence the support people have shown me over the past year is amazing and without it, it wouldn't have happened. There would be no Authorial and I would have no passion to share with anyone and that would be sad. So again, thank you for everything.

 And no matter what, the dream, the passion will never die if I continue to receive such suppot. The world is my oyster hopefully. I'll have plenty more things to write and plenty more inspiration to come from there world. So I hope you just continue to do what we do at the Authorial which is: See. Read. Believe.

Monday, 5 September 2011

NEWS AND UPDATES: Tweet, Tweet!

 You can now follow my twitter account on the Authorial!
 Due to my purchasing a smartphone I decided to register to twitter, I have become a twitter addict. It's like really cool, so I thought to have an excuse to use it more often I would put it on the Authorial so I could use it more often saying 'it's for the authorial!' however, my girlfriend Jenni maybe right in saying that it maybe just to keep up with the Robinson's and hype. Anyway, you can follow my twitter on the right hand side of the blog now, sweeet! When I get a blogger app on my BB I'll use that to post to!

MONDAY MUSING: Now I have a Blackberry, the world seems a more connected place.

 It was my birthday on Saturday and for my 19th year my mother got me a Blackberry; which I am very grateful for and am very happy with. I called him Berty and he is married to my girlfriend Blackberry Betty and with all the functions now working I have come to a stunning realisation: I am not so alone as I thought.

 We all know it, the feeling of the isolation within the world that is inhabited by more than 6 billion people. We look at a world that is so huge and vast and beautiful in it's own right and think "Wow. I am small and am so alone." But now I've got this Blackberry and have looked into the massive universe that is applications and mobile internet it is almost impossible to think that any more. I can receive emails, check Facebook, post on twitter and even chat to other people with blackberry's by scanning a bar code. It's a truly amazing feat. People may look at this post and think that: "What is this douche saying, we've had phones for years?" but look at it this way, with normal phones we never used to have everyone's phone number. We couldn't text over 500 people, our phones wouldn't be able to hack it. Yet, now, Smart phones have opened up so much connectivity with the rest of the world that it's impossible to say one is alone in this hi-tech wizarding world.

   I find it quite scary, quite hard to understand and almost impossible to believe that now at the touch of a button; in a matter of seconds almost anyone is within reach and if you want to think about it in less romantic fashion then I have put it, think about how slow the internet used to be. Then look at it now, downloads done in seconds, films stream-able on the web and more websites then you can shake a stick at! So, look at your smartphone, your laptop and think to yourself: "Am I really alone in this huge world anymore?"

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

BRAVESOULS: Preview

 It was a glorious Sunday afternoon and Michael aged 25 stood amongst the crowd of buyers and sellers at the monthly car boot sale. He smiled as his long-term partner,Carol, made her way towards him; she also seemed pretty excited at the prospect of the day and she jumped on Michael kissing him on the cheek. "Ready to go are we baby?" she asked as Michael, also known as 'Spider' to many, winced. He rubbed his back with which he had been battling for a year or two now and gave a half hearted laugh before taking out a small tin, a small packet of papers and rolling himself a cigarette. He nodded to say he was ready as he lit the thin, white stick and flicked the smouldering ambers away as Carol yanked on his arm to march him around the sea of tables that were on the green.

 "So, what are you loooooking for?" asked Carol darting from table to table handling thing after thing whilst her boyfriend just perused from afar never touching and never letting on what he was quite obviously searching for. He hadn't heard her question the first time and her second question was again not heard, So Carol as Carol only did, coupled the third attempt witha punch to Spider's arm which obviously caught his attention: "Jesus!" he yelled gasping for air "You scared the fucking life out of me!"
"Well, fucking answer me then!" yelled Carol defiantly.
Although, the whole green had seemed to turn and look at the couple now, they ignored it and carried on as normal. Carol again hit Spider on the arm; aggravating him slightly but still, he knew it was all in good fun and he actually kind of enjoyed having this sort of mock fight, sometimes it could end badly but he had a small feeling it wouldn't today so retaliated by also punching Carol lightly in the arm. "I'm not looking for anything particular if that's what you want to know," riddled Spider with a grin "I'm just looking for something I'd like."

 His girlfriend stood quite dazed and confused "So... what?"
 Spider laughed until a familiar face caught his eye and he began to wave and shout about like a mad man to gain the faces attention "Squire!" he yelled "Squire, over here!" He was beckoning towards a gangly dark haired youth, whom was quite thick set; with the youth was a small red head which he dwarfed considerably but the girl seemed to have a tight grip of the hand the boy wasn't browsing with. He returned Spider's wave before returning to look at what the girl whom had hold of his hand had picked up. Spider understood Squire didn't see his girlfriend Jennifer that often, it often caused them great sadness and tension in their relationship but all seemed to end well whatever happened and with Squire off away to University soon. Spider knew the couple were on borrowed time before it became video calls and bi-monthly returns home. A lump swelled in Spider's throat as he thought of Squire upping sticks and leaving for bigger and better things; yet, Carol was optimistic and that did lift his spirits quite a lot. "He's not going to forget you Mike," she said "He's just spending time with Jenni, maybe we should invite them round one time? Y'know? Before he leaves." Spider's eyes surveyed the tabletops that had many different wares spread across them.

 He looked harder past the hand made cards, the cakes and the second hand toys to find something special, something no one else would have realised the value of but he was having no luck on that. He simply walked towards his friend Squire with Carol and smiled "How's it going buddy?"
"Not bad," said the teen "Here with Jen picking out some Uni essentials, you know how it is!" Spider chuckled in his head as he agreed with his young friend but actually had no idea. He tried to craw parallels between moving to Uni and moving into a flat but he'd often left that to Carol, so still had no idea. "What are you looking for?" asked Carol almost dancing.
"Just bits and bobs." replied Jenni also dancing away to herself. The two girls soon got to talking for a time about the Xbox an how it almost makes them widows until they got onto a topic of what they'd seen around the sale. They continued gliding through topics with ease whilst the boys watched on in both amazement and confusion. The girls didn't even seem to pause for breathe. "My head hurts." groaned Squire as he watched the conversation unfold "Anyway," groaned the youth turning to his friend "You like your board games don't you Spider?"

 Spider's eyes widened as he took a draw of his cigarette "Yes. And if I do?"
"Well there's a game called Bravesouls down the strip there," Squire pointed in the direction he'd come from which coincidentally was the way Spider was going "Third on your left can't miss it. It is bloody huge though! Must be the size of the table it's on and-" As he turned round Spier was dragging Carol to the mentioned stand by the arm and Jenni and Squire were left scratching their heads. They didn't understand what was going on. They never would have either.

Spider approached the table like a man possesse, he move slowly towards the bearded seller who was not busy at all and instead solved sudoku puzzles in the back of the local paper whilst the game sat flat on the table in front of him. Squire ha not exaggerated the size of the box, it was grand almost ornate and id span a whole table's length. It way have not been as wide but it's size for a board game was still pretty immense. Spider rubbed his hands across the box to feel the embossed logo on the front. with that he knew it was real. "Where id you get this?" he asked the seller intrigued as it looked in near mint condition. The seller still preoccupied with his puzzles just grunted he said something about an attic but who's and when was inaudible. "I'll take it!" yelled Spider "How much!?"

 Both Carol an the stall owner almost keeled over with fright as Spider ha made his hasty and loud request. The merchant though looked Spider up and down before pricing the desired object, he thought hard to himself. He wondered if Spider knew what he was buying, whether price was an object in him obtaining the game and tried to establish many other variables. "I'll do you it for £15."
"£5."
"£10."
"Done."
Spider opened the lid to see the finely arranged pieces all still in the inner sleeve, shielded from dust and damage they were not blemished in any sort of fashion. Nor did they bare signs of usage. He counted all the cards and the number specified on the box was there. He conducted a massive apparaisal of the game before even giving his money over to the vendor. He knew it was all in order an he knew he'd made a massive steal, whether his girlfriend or the stall owner knew that he wasn't bothered. He just wanted to get home quickly and soon began to race of despite the pain in his lower back "SPIDER!" yelled Carol "Where are you going?"

 With that Spider was off, he wished to get home as soon as possible. He wanted to text all his friends, get a game night sorted out. He had big plans, huge plans and it all required a lot of time. Spider lugged the game home with Carol behind him and a smile on his face.

Sunday, 21 August 2011

BRAVESOULS: Blurb

Because Winning and Losing...
Is now Life and Death.

When Michael 'Spiderman' Mitchell and his partner Carol come across the one of a kind table-top RPG board game BRAVESOULS; they think they've hit the jackpot. They quickly go about arranging a games night so that Spider's friends can also enjoy the game with him from creating characters to taking the final quest together as a team. However, not all is as it seems with the game. As soon as Michael puts his game piece on the board he mysteriously disappears without a trace...

 Now, his friends, their partners and Carol are all panicking as they look for him with no clues, no idea and unbeknownst to them no rules.

VLOG: Update 21/08/2011

The newest Youtube video is an update about several things that are happening both in my life and on the Authorial. These are:

1) Working at Greggs, a brief talk about enjoying my job and not talking about it on the blog or Youtube due to their internet policy. it's fair enough, I have read it and it's not unreasonable; it's safer this way too.

2) Getting into uni, it's pretty cool knowing I'm leaving for another big adventure soon! Talking about results, the nightmare it was and just my excitement at going to Uni.

3) Stuff still to come; The Authorial is far from dead! Talking about what's to come, Bravesouls and a possible Video Review!

It's pretty short and sweet but hey that's life, right? If you want also check out the XJRB1 video response on the channel that's pretty fun!

Monday, 15 August 2011

MONDAY MUSING: Well, what do you know...?

 I've been slacking in my duties recently due to work and having to get through my training but as I write this musing down I look at the Authorial and find it hard to believe three things:

 The first of these is the fact that the Authorial is almost a year old. Yes, that's right on the 9th of September 2011 the Authorial will have made it till it's 1st Birthday; now, that may not be so surprising to you as readers because until recently I have always been quite active but when I look back at it myself, I never really thought that it would take off like it has. I didn't think I'd be sitting on almost 150 posts nor over 9,000 hits. In fact I always thought I'd get bored and move on pretty quickly but that has not been the case really and I'm happy about that. Without this I would never have had the input people have made nor the great time with my friends. The Authorial has been a great project and almost like a great friend helping me through tough and difficult times and other such trials. This is a nice thing and unbelievable thing and I have nobody else to be more grateful to then YOU, the reader for sharing these awesome times and adventures with me. Admittedly, I've dived in head first at some points and not had a clue as to what I was doing but as the occasion of a 1st Birthday suggests: it has worked and I am so grateful for that.

The second fact is as mentioned previously I'm currently sitting on 135 (this will take it up to 136) posts. Now there's 365 days in a year right? That means that for almost half the days of the year I was posting to you guys which is pretty intense when I think about it and probably why now that I am busy with work and stuff and never seem to have the time, I miss the Authorial so much. It is a huge part of my life and I do devote hours of my time to it and you can now see that with not just the posts but the lifespan of the Authorial. I don't just sit and write stuff, I draft, I edit, I design, I plan and much more so the Authorial does take up a large part of my life but that makes me very happy because I know if I want to reach my dream of being a published author, then a few days here and there is nothing compared to the sacrifices I'll have to make for that. Furthermore, it gets me in good practice for the future and using comments and the Authorial to get some great ideas. So all this time, it certainly has not been for nothing.

 The third and final fact of this musing is that the Authorial has way more views then I ever expected; I never expected to hit 1000 hits let alone the 9000+ that's going on. Whether you're a repeat visitor, a friedn, a fan, family or random: Thank you. That is all I can say for without you I am nothing. I need your backing and that's as simple as it gets, so please, relish in all your glory; you make yourself a tea and you relax because you've earnt it.

 So, I know this musing maybe misinterpretted; some may say I'm blowing my own trumpet, some may say I'm arrogant. It is neither of these things I assure you; it's just that seeing these three things and looking at what I intended almost a year ago; it's better then incredible. All I hope you do is continue to see, read and believe.

Monday, 8 August 2011

MONDAY MUSING: I used to watch TV...

 I remember a time when you couldn't tear me away from a TV set, y'know? That feeling of anticipation as you waited for your favourite programme or those late nights waiting for a new season premier or even that painful hiatus all shows eventually take and the empty void it leaves now one of your nights isn't complete. Yet, now I look at myself after being a huge fan of the likes of Smallville, Heroes and others; that I no longer spend as much time watching TV, no where near as much time and it begs the question why?

 Is it because all these programmes have pretty much ended? Is it because shows like LOST destroy themselves by clutching at straws in every new series? Or just the fact that I'm loosing interest in all television and would prefer to read, write or play games? I'm not really sure because even watching cartoons nowadays is pretty darn boring, my little brother of 11 would rather watch football from years ago be replayed then the cartoons of today; he calls it preference, I call it heresy! Even cartoons are boring nowadays and after I finally got a whole channel devoted to anime on Anime Central, it was taken off air! Again, more heresy!

 And it's not just me by the looks of things, I look at people and ask them and they prefer games or Facebook to TV because stuff on the tube is just getting ridiculous. Sad a truth as it maybe it's still the truth; with soaps killing everyone off to get audiences, series being cut due to disinterest or just money being the object and seeing budget cuts: we can all see Television is going down the toilet. So, what's going to happen, is TV going to come out of the ashes and stop being so crap or are we going t soon see a future without television? There are a lot of questions really but one thing is for sure; we all wish television was a little better nowadays.




Thursday, 4 August 2011

NEWS AND UPDATES: The wheels are turning on BRAVESOULS!

After a small delay work can finally start on the weekly serial BRAVESOULS which will be premièring on the Authorial AUGUST 30th. Now that this delay is over, characters are about to get under way and where the story will go I have no bloody idea but just trust me this is going to be a good one!

 If you wish to get involved in BRAVESOULS contact me using facebook, youtube or any other means.

Sunday, 31 July 2011

NEWS AND UPDATES: Are you a BRAVESOUL?

 After failing to bring Pilgrim to the Authorial and wishing to continue the new sense of warmth I've been feeling as I write Fantasy. I have decided on making a new serial (which will remain a serial) based on, once again, the strange but wonderful people who are often involved in my Xbox party. The serial which is going to be called BRAVESOUL is a Fantasy story about a group of friends and a magical board game which turns winning or loosing into life and death. More will be revealed as I further the creative process but work on Pilgrim may make said progress slow. Just to warn you.

However!

I shall keep you posted!

VLOG: Fantasy as a Genre.

In this video instalment the main topic is about Fantasy as a genre in Literature. Is it all really about elves? Or is it more simply making a whole new world that is in a way magical? Not only this but I also talk about two fellow youtubers and friends as well as the new location I'm filming in! So, don't miss another great youtube moment from me; Adderson!

Saturday, 30 July 2011

NEWS AND UPDATES: A new video from a new location!

Just letting you know that there's going to be a a new video up on the Youtube channel tonight (hopefully, if all goes well) I'm going to be talking about my increasingly obsessive look on Fantasy as a genre in Literature and about Fantasy books I wish to get in the future. Furthermore though, I'll be making a Video from a place rarely seen by people and that place is: My Grandmother's. I stay at my Nan's a lot and have been all this week, so I thought it'd be a nice place to cut a video; it's a really nice Victorian house, so don't miss my new video for a chance to be nosey!

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

BLOG: Friends like mine...

Friends like mine are hard to come by I believe and it was after my friend Michael Heath thanked ME for his work being noticed by someone. Apparently someone noticed the book cover her did for me and asked him to do their business card for £45 (now, I got mine for free but you know) and Mike as insanely talented as he is art-wise with his pre-degree in fine art and everything thanked me for getting his work noticed. It all seems a little mad really but... y'know I suppose if he feels that way. He feels that way. I personally think it was always going to happen; Michael's a bit of a perfectionist and I always thought that rather a great quality for a designer.

 Yet, when I think about it he's helped me a lot, he's believed and he's helped me out on a lot over the past few weeks and it's helped me on leaps and bounds with the new project. A lot of my friends are like mine, talented and helpful and some of them are talented but quite the banter chiefs. Still, I wouldn't trade them for the world. They're awesome people and I count my blessings with having them about; they're pretty inspirational.

Even those who have left are still pretty memorable. They are still talented and even though I may not find it in my heart to forgive and forget; what ever happened between us was never my problem, it never concerned me and I still wished the best for them. And I do with all my friends too wish that, like Michael, someone will notice their talents and move them towards what they want. Move them one step closer to a dream.

 And because they mean the world to me and their dreams mean the world to them; I think I'd always wish my friends the best. Whether they do thank me or not; it's their's not mine. Yet I'll help them in whatever way I can because I know they'd probably do the same for me.

I know this was a bit deep but I've been thinking for a long time and I just want you to take a moment and think: Who's helped me recently? & Do I help them enough? Because those friends you have are the family you choose, are people who you believe you have a deep connection with and that's something special. Real special. So you should never let go of that nor let it fade away.

Saturday, 23 July 2011

REVIEW: Fallout New Vegas

Name: Fallout New Vegas
Publisher: Bethesda Softworks
Developer: Obsidian Entertainment
Release Date: 19th August 2010
Platform: Xbox 360
Genre: RPG


REVIEW:
IGN's '#1 Most Anticipated Game of 2010' and also the winner of IGN's 'Best of E3 2010' it's not hard to see that Fallout: New Vegas had a lot of hype built up around it from the get go and it's predecessor Fallout 3 was such a prestigious game with such a hardcore following that New Vegas was apparently only going to be bound for greatness. Or so one would think.

 I got this game off a reduced shelf from my father for Christmas one year after he was duped into buying the game by the front cover which does make New Vegas look like an FPS my army nut Dad craves. However, he lost interest when I finally started playing. He's not a massive RPG fan but I myself count myself as a massive RPG/ JRPG gamer. So, Fallout looked right up my street.

 From the opening sequence I was quite excited with a visual of the Neon lit Vegas strip set inside a Post-Apocalyptic Mojave Desert; with that as well as the action packed sequence that followed which resulted in a rather surprise result in terms of starting a game. I was ready, eager and hungry to start playing the game. Then I actually started playing. The thing is with RPGs is that they can in fact be a long drawn out process and especially with the level of customisation available in both Fallout games; I could tell that for someone as impatient as me, me and this game were about to have a long and complicated relationship. Not much unlike the game itself really.

 Starting the game, I found was painstaking and thanks to being a complete and utter newbie to the world of Fallout (for even though I recognised Fallout 3 I had never played it) an unforgiving process. That was my fault however; I knew that. I mean, who would decide to make a Melee fighter character in a world filled with not just normal guns but lasers and plasma weapons too? I did and I paid the price. As well as the choices at the beginning of the game resulting to me making such a moronic character; I also due to growing impatience with the long process of starting the game skipped over most the tutorials and actually did not learn how to do... anything. Hacking and lock-picking were now so out my reach when they were actually monumentally important parts of the game.

 This flow of consequences through my total disregard of care continued as it started all through out the game to the point where as one of my friends put it quite mildly: "Everyone hated me". I was unable to finish quests due to people dying whom I failed to defends, I had to serious correct my own STAT unbalance as I continually failed to survive the harsh and chaotic conditions of the Mojave Wasteland. Yet, once I did get over these exceptionally large hurdles of correcting myself and learning what I should have learnt at the beginning of the game: I actually began to enjoy myself.

 The Fallout system is indeed great. I liked the visual aspects and the exploration element of the game to the point where it actually felt like I, myself, was wondering the desert (most of the time lost for another skill I forgot to learn was how to use my compass) if I stayed in first person view mode enough. I also like the fact I could change from first to third person view modes at a whim; which is pretty cool if you want to be vein or get a better view of just how big the game is compared to your tiny, tiny character.  Not only are these engines great but the massive amount of customisation within the Wasteland is also very impressive; in true RPG style you could take your character in any direction you dared choose (but choose wrong and suffer the consequences), have any sort of perks that support your characters style and also align yourselves with any faction that you thought best reflected your interests. As a talkative character I rather enjoyed manipulating people to give me stuff or into doing my dirty work so if I could give you any piece of advice on this game: DEVELOP YOUR SPEECH SKILL IT WILL BE VERY SATISFYING!


So game play wise once you get your head around it, New Vegas is a pretty nice game great feel to it and the storyline also has this. It is a nice tale about lessons learnt, betrayal and vengeance but also if you wish retribution and morality as well as nice feeling as you can abandon the main quest line to do what seems to be an unlimited number of side quests to earn more experience and also learn a lot more about the Fallout universe. One of my favourite things about the storyline is the unlimited potential to throw it down any path you choose as well as gaining companions whom can aid you on your quest and who can be very useful. Yet, nothing compares to my favourite experience in Fallout which is indeed the V.A.T.S system.

The V.A,T.S or Valut-Tec Assisted Targeting System is a handy tool which allows you to stop time and aim at certain points on any enemy in range; not just displaying health, body part health and the enemies themselves but also the probability of hitting said opponent. Th higher the percentage, the more the damage and less chance of a miss. With this system after targeting what you wish you will enter a slow motion cinematic experience which is quite satisfying in itself especially when in slow motion you can follow the travel of your bullet through the air, on impact and on exit from the poor drug frenzied crazy person's head. Nothing like maiming, crippling, disarming or decapitating a person in slow-mo is there?

RATING: AAAA
Even though me and Fallout had a complex relationship it is a pretty good game and with so many alternative endings I am in need of replaying through the story, making different decisions and this time paying attention. What the game also offers in terms of DLC is actually quite astonishing, so I can't knock it. All I can say is that Fallout: New Vegas is a solid game way above average in ways but the reason for my rating is that: one, I am poor so will not be able to obtain the masses of downloadable content for it and two, the fact that my stupidity led to me not enjying the game as much. Upon replaying the game though with a sense of purpose, direction and of what I'm doing; this second character is already a huge success. The only problem I face now is whether to play the game on the infamous HARDCORE MODE; which requires me to eat, drink and sleep as well as everything else I have to do during my adventure. So, whether or not I do that I'll let you know! But I will continue to play New Vegas until I have completed all four endings.

Also, if Fallout: New Vegas does get your taste buds tingling I'd also recommend Fallout 3 and another Bethesda game called Oblivin which is the same sort of idea but more fantasy then sci-fi based. I'm really enjoying Oblivion at the moment and as Oblivion came first you can observe trends from Oblivion to New Vegas which is quite refreshing and shows that Bethesda pay attention to what works and keep developing it to make it better.

NEWS AND UPDATES: Pilgrim is making massive progress!

 My new project, Pilgrim, is coming on leaps and bounds thanks to mine and Michael's hard woork and I'd firstly like to say a massive thank you to Michael James Heath of the Film Critical (one of the Authorial's friends) for all the effort he's put into the artistic side of the development as well as the huge amounts of help he's given me on the written aspects. However, thanks to these efforts Pilgrim is looking to be a very very good project that me and Michael are both going to be excited for so, I've decided that Pilgrim and Vita will NOT be coming to the Authorial as serials but instead I will focus on making them into books and seek to get them published.

 I am very sorry if you've been excited for these projects but I am still in the process of making a few more weekly serials, so do not threat. I also think that Dead West maybe making a revival as well as POR just with a few tweaks.

 Again, I am sorry and I do hope that we will have some new serial's soon.

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

VLOG: Technical Difficulties DEFEATED!

After a bloody long delay due to technical difficulties; which I believed I solved by the way the Adderson Authrial Bookclub update is live! Meaning I can now start to move forward with the projects that have been dependent on it. This video is only a short one; a quick update to explain a few things that are going to outlined below this paragraph.

The update tackles the following:

  1. Just Another Gamer is no longer on the friends of the Authorial list. why? Because I'm no longer apart of it; the split is for personal reasons but it now allows me to review games on the authorial again and the first two reviews have been pitched as Fallout: New Vegas, a controversial choice by me and Batman: Arkham Asylum in preparation for Arkham City's release.
  2. That I want more people to join me on the channel, I could really benefit from some help to expand the Bookclub's functions. From debates to music interviews I'm willing to do it; I just need need people to meet me halfway (right on the boarder line!) So, get in contact with me if you want to get yourselves involved.
  3. The fact I maybe busy looking for a job in order to earn that all important cash so I can buy stuff to review.
  4.  and finally, personal reasons strike again as I'm not sure whether to continue POR and Dead West. I'd like some opinions. So if anyone could lend a hand, I'd appreciate it.
Well, that's all folks! CIASSOU!

NEWS AND UPDATES: Two new stories are ready to get under way!

Just thought I'd let you know that two new stories are in the pipeline. After hours of compiling notes for both projects; they are about to get started. The first thing I'm going to tackle is blurbs; all so I can post them on here to give you guys a teaser of what's to come. Hope you like them.

Monday, 18 July 2011

NEWS AND UPDATES: Technical Difficulties

Well, I'm already making use of the news and updates section. Just a quick thing about something we all encounter with technology and that my friends is technical difficulties! Due to tech problems with my web cam, the youtube video has not been filmed, therefore it has not been posted and therefore I have not been able to continue with the rest of the projects that are reliant on said video. So, I'm sorry but there may be delays until I can sort out the source of the problem and make way in fixing it.

NEWS AND UPDATES: There's now a News and Updates section?

 I thought it'd be useful if I did a section that was more practical to use as notices and updates rather then massive paragraphs. The news and Updates section will contain any form of news concerning my welfare or something cool coming to the authorial as well as updates on deadlines, delays or technical mishaps. There will be some positive updates too not just ones about things going wrong. So, here's the first one!

Friday, 15 July 2011

BLOG: Getting back on the horse!

Well, it seems as though the Authorial has been empty since I finished school and that's because it pretty much has been. The Authorial's become a barren wasteland since I've finished school; missing out my last exam report, an article about prom and missing an awesome chance to review the showing of Avenue Q I was privileged to see at the Royal and Derngate in Northampton. I'm not sure whether it's the continual job search or my want to spend as much time as I can with my girlfriend, I'm sorry that the Authorial has been quiet but I am on the way to  tackling this draught.

 So, what's to come?

 In this post is not only an apology but in fact a promise; what's to come is being listed on this post with dates/ deadlines and much much more.

COMING SOON TO THE AUTHORIAL

  • Saturday 16th July 2011 - The Adderson Authorial Update on the Bookclub: A new video for the Bookclub, my Youtube Channel, which is going to serve a general purpose of explaining a few things. I think this has been a long time coming and has been needed for a while.
  • Monday 25th July 2011 - Video Game Review, Fallout New Vegas: The video will explain, this sudden new addition. This is going to be something new and I'm really excited for this; I know it's a game I haven't expressed my love for but by the by it should be a very fun article.
  • New Poetry
  • New Weekly Serials: The video will again explain. 
  • More Game Reviews
 So, I'm back on it; like the title says I'm getting back on the horse! So, let's take this journey together as WE revive the Authorial!

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

POETRY: I see it as a line.

The difference between two polar opposites,
Can be seen as a line.
I see them that way;
Wafer thin,
Some even blurred.
And with that logic
It seems simpler
Life in general,
To see insanity in perfect mental health
To see discourse in the perfect serenity
Right in wrong
Wrong in right
Grey areas,
A sort of peaceful chaos.
As has always been.
In every single living thing...

Monday, 20 June 2011

MONDAY MUSING: The End Is NIGH!

No, I haven't gone mad and predicted the end of the world or something stupid like that; in fact, I'm just reflecting that my school life at Rushden is coming to an end after Wednesday and I was just wondering...

What's the plan?

Well, obviously for the summer; get a job. It'd be nice to not be sitting on my arse all day really. I'd like to be able to do something and have some WONGA in my pocket at the end of the month and then it prepares me for the all important day of RESULTS.

Now, results day is going to go one of two ways: Good or bad. Simple as that. It is appropriate that I plan for both sides of that coin and I have been. For if it goes well: Go to Sheffield Hallam and live the dream. It's what happens if I fail that stuff is going to be a bit... hectic. First there'll be the issue of not wanting to live with my folks no more once I hit 20; I'd stay in a hostel if needs be but I can't sit and impose on them because I messed up. It's just wrong. So, I think, what I may do is call Connections (y'know the youth work people) and get some back up plans going for apprenticeships in publishing companies or something like that so I can still be involved with literature. It'd be nice. Then I'd have the money to afford a small flat, move out, get my arse on the road and get a successful career after not going Uni. Well, hopefully...

 But you never know I may be stuck here forever (kill me now if that's the case) but I tell you what even if results doesn't quite go my way I know it'll knock me down but I also definitely know that it won't keep me out. SO WATCH OUT!

Thursday, 16 June 2011

BLOG: 2nd Exam Report - English Literature

With 2 out of 3 exams down, you can say I'm pretty content and with English Literature done and dusted it seems like I'm going to have a lot less to do. It also brings about the realisation that this is it; after this next exam I am done with education maybe forever. I don't know yet, I haven't got my results envelope but I felt most confident about the English Literature exam in comparison to all the others thanks to my love of reading. So, I feel good about today, no one else does but I do which counts, I suppose.

 Anyway the first question was a comparison of two prose extracts which admittedly seemed to have a lot of people stumped when we came out and talked about things afterwards. I can understand why we followed the advice of our teachers and where one said poetry would come up and the other said plays; neither actually did. Which I suppose was a bitch but I had mostly read novels so I wasn't short on wider reading for prose. It was an extract from Jude The Obscure and an extract from a book called Disgrace. Now both extracts were pretty much about seduction, in this Disgrace extract a university lecturer was desperately trying to seduce his student; paying her compliments and touching her at every given moment. Whilst in Hardy's book we were privy to the aftermath where a woman had thrown a 'pig's penis' (you can imagine how happy I was to write that in my exam) at Jude to grab his attention. In both extracts the seduction was obvious, the woman tried to seduce Jude and the teacher, Laurie, tried to seduce his student. Simple enough, right?

 What was the difference was the contextual conventions of both pieces; in Hardy's day and age it was women seen as the predatory sex and more seductive; it was their beauty which captivated it and they used it to get their kicks. Whilst men were too good for that obviously, we never did that sort of stuff but we went to the brothel for a good time. Whilst Disgrace dealt with a male taking up the role of not just a seducer but someone who was about to cross a line in the audience's eyes. So the context of both texts had made a hell of a lot of difference in the two texts I saw. Apart from that, both texts were rather similar using the same feral images to describe characters and using a hell of a lot of irony (Laurie mentioned Byron who is tragic and also mentioned Byron's scandal, where as Hardy used a penis to show a female's interest in a male). So question one seemed good. Wider reading wise, I used Wide Sargasso Sea and Great Expectations as they both had a similar trend; the younger of the two texts setting a male as the seducer rather then the older making them female.

 Section 2, was pretty cool too. It featured a play and poem extract and it was pretty straight forward. It asked me to compare their views on sexual relationships. Score. It was Behn's The Rover Vs. Sir Wyatt's poem They flee from me. Where as one talks about it being irresistible and it bringing out inconsistency in men which we could link to Romeo and Juliet and the famous balcony scene; we can also see both used sex as a way to show absolute love. There was also some status issues that I got from it and the fact the restoration begged for bawdy drama after years of having no theatres and heavy censorship. That was pretty much it really, I thought it was pretty good. Some others didn't think. I thought it was okay for me.

 I may have taken extra time but I was pretty confident with my exam today. So...

One more to go!

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

POETRY: Atlas & I

Atlas and I
We’re one in the same –
Two soldiers in the same war
Our shoulders bearing tremendous weights
Our worlds propped up
By the sweat of our brows.

Me just a man,
Him a giant
But these fragile worlds
That we struggle to hold
We take with pride
And hope the best for it.

But imperfect are we
And therefore flawed
And unable to take the weight from others
Their problems, they force on us
Their dramas that unfolds on our backs
And the grip loosens with such additions

And fear flickers across my face
As my fragile world threatens to fall
As my arms begin to give way
The world begins to roll to the floor
My world about to shatter – To be destroyed.
Because I wasn’t strong enough.

And Atlas and I
Our worlds on our backs
Fear the moments of weakness
That take hold
Make us want to give in
Just as we remember how important there worlds are.

And with all the people relying on me;
To hold this world up
To be strong
To not let go, ever.
To be their rock
And for them I will be.

My world on my shoulders,
It can be a burden
It can weigh tonnes
It can seem hopeless
I can seem not enough
But it’s important

Me and Atlas;
We are one in the same –
We protect our worlds.

POETRY: A Real Life Mr. Darcy.

Heroes in real-life
Are all Byronic
Dark and brooding
Not knights in shining armour
All tragic, all misunderstood.

And me, myself, apparently am,
A writer, a gentleman,
A sorry lot.
A rough ride
But a dying breed.

A real life Mr. Darcy
My pride my defence,
My character indefinable
And prejudices
That rule my head.

Keeping a stiff upper lip,
Not letting on,
Not letting others understand
That I can be something;
I could be a hero.

And although you may hate me,
Your opinion of me skewed
I may be narcissistic
In your eyes, I may be the devil
But I am more

This Mr. Darcy has a heart,
I feel, I may not show it
But I do.
I feel for all –
My appearance: a façade.

So, am I oen of those Byronic heroes?
Misunderstood, a surprise,
A heart of gold,
Surrounded by darkness
Hidden from the world.

And now, that you see
See me for all I am
Now I’ve shown you
I can be amiable
I really can.

So me, this walking fiction
A real life Mr. Darcy
Your Byronic hero
A heart of gold –
Just seeming to have too much pride.

BLOG: Poetry's coming back to the Authorial!

 With all that's going on recently I haven't had many opportunities to seriously sit down and have a good old writing session. Any sort of writing I have done I've been preparing and showing to people in relation to The Bridgeport prize; which I still need to write a short story for by the 20th so I can get it in the post and off for the 30th. It's been scary but I'm pretty happy with the support and stuff I've been getting from some people. So, now that poetically I've finished for Bridgeport and I'm now moving on to completing my short story I can now inform you that two new poems shall be on the Authorial today.

 After showing all three poems I considered sending to Bridgeport to certain key individuals, a majority has been reached, a poem selected and now the other two are free to be published on the web (for one of of the conditions was I was not allowed to submit any published work, even self published on the Authorial). This gives me great delight to have some REAL content on the Authorial again. Not that Musings and Blogs aren't real content but more imaginative content I mean. That is what the Authorial is for, it's a place where I leak creativity and show it off to the world. If show it off is the right word. I'm not sure but you'll see TWO new poems tonight and I'm happy with how they turned out.

Anyhow, good luck with any Exams that are going down at the moment guys!
CIASSOU! x

Monday, 13 June 2011

MONDAY MUSING: Maybe if I told you the right words, at the right time?

 Here at the Adderson Authorial, I try to give you some brain ticklers try to get you to think about something I've been thinking about on the Monday's on which I do Monday Musings. Today's thought is half mushy and half philosophical almost as I tackled the very hard question that we all as humans have to ask ourselves at one time and that's this one question:

"How do you tell someone you love them?"

Now, I have a feeling that this is going to encourage some sarcastic responses but seriously just hear me out. In English today, I was thinking about it as we talked abut comparing things to do with love, our exam is about 'Love Through The Ages', so we kind of have to but in this talk it arose to me 'So, it's like comparing how they say I love you' and then another question 'How do I say I love you?'

 And this thought, although small puzzled me to the point where I asked Jen; how I in fact told her that I loved her and she said that I just tell her and show her and I write. So I guess that my ways are pretty bog standard save the writing because not everyone writes their lovers love poetry I guess, it is effort. Then I looked at other people and how they said they love eachother: some do it through nicknames, some did it by showing how they feel, some do it by abuse, some do it through jealousy and some simply do it by sharing space. There are some other methods such as sex and having babies and stuff but I was wondering more about the more subtle ways rather then getting hitched and married.

So, yeah that was my thoughts for today. How do you tell someone you love them? If you want to get involved and tell me how you tell someone special in your own special way then... comment. Let's compare notes maybe we can all help each other out?

Friday, 10 June 2011

BLOG: 1st Exam Report - History

So like I said yesterday, exam season has started for me and today I sat my first exam which was history. The Superpower relations 1945 - 1990; basically, the Cold War.

 Now I've been the positive guy of the exam period; I'm the one not running around like a headless chicken predicting failure of epic proportions and resitting year 13, I don't know why. I just know I can't and that it's important not to; that it's now or never. Yet, as I opened section 1 of the paper my heart sank like a rock. They were the most horrible questions in the world and if I tried to tackle them, they had more muscle then me so they'd easily throw me off. But still, had to do it so instead of doing the one I had no idea about that asked me about the 1970's and to which I replied "What the hell actually happened in the 70's?" I opted for the one I could sort of work with which talked about the arms race as something that stabilised the relationship between the US and USSR in the years 1949 - 1963.

 Now, although I hate the arms race and stuff; this question we'd actually answered before in class I swear, so, in effect I already knew the answer. I knew in my gut that building weapons to kill each other is no way to say you're friends, so... I went with that talking about the dropping of the atomic bomb (even though it was before our allotted time) as the cause of the arms race and with the use of espionage and the desperation of both sides it was obvious the arms race was not actually helpful at all. In fact, the presence of Nuclear weapons made it worse then it already was. So, as well as these spies and stuff the Post Stalin Thaw was a huge part of the time we were allotted and I knew about the Thaw, I'd revised the Thaw so I can rant about how that seems to actually give the impression that the arms race is making things better but in fact with the arms race Peaceful coexistence doesn't really exist. When the other side are also looking at military applications. They aren't being peaceful. So I could go on about that.

 What I actually had to argue was the fact it was the prospect of using nuclear weapons rather then their presence  Korea saw hesitation at the threat of nuclear war on Chinese borders; then we see that in Cuba when the US did not like the fact  nukes were on their doorstep and it cause the Cuban Missle Crisis. Cuba almost kicked off, even with the presence of nukes it was the thought of using them that stopped it.

 And like, yeah, I was behind I was expecting to use my extra time in order to get the question I knew I'd struggle with. That's how bad section 1 was for me. I wasn't scared just worried. But I got through, I was grateful and I knew I could push forward. As you do.

 Section 2 though, fricking BOOM! I mean Reagan... REAGAN!? I've been revising that man, all over him like a rash! And it was pretty sweet. Everything I needed was in the sources and I kept my essay firmly routed in the sources with dribs and drabs of own knowledge here and there because it was a source question. All I knew was the sources agreed with me that Reagan's policy was not what the main cause was; I saw it was more Gorbachev and other stuff that tore down the foundations of the Soviet union. So that question to me was actually sexable I think. Yes, that's right sexable. I would have made that paper feel like a real women, ha ha.

 Anyway, I think it went okay. I pulled it out on Section 2, even though Section 1 was such a pig I managed to make it through and get it done. Even though I now wish I could write in exams like I do on this blog; it'd be nice to be able to articulate like I do here, be as personal and passionate as I am on here but hey-ho. It's done I did my best, I finished with two minutes to go when I was expecting to use my extra time, I didn't though which makes me feel better. Cause I don't feel like a retard now.

So, 1 out of 3 done! Sweeeeet!

Thursday, 9 June 2011

VLOG: You ask, I answered?

With exam season about to start, you know there's going to be alot of exam stress. I know it. You know it. The people stressing know it. But I always have to ask is it necessary to be continually thinking about the negatives with exams when you never know? You can't fail until you know the result, right? So, why whittle about the unknown, we do impulsive things everyday and it doesn't scare us so exams what we are prepared for shouldn't. Well, I believe that so thought in this video I'd deal with it and inject some positivity on the situation at hand.

 Also as well, I've been asked a question that's made me think about things myself and ask the same so today I've also tackled that little nugget.

 All in all a pretty good third instalment, take a look.

Monday, 6 June 2011

MONDAY MUSING: Dude E3

Hey there, as you probably know if you're a game freak today is the start of E3 and dude... it's been amazing so far with some epic reveals that I've managed to catch.

 Well, my E3 story does have holes because I wait for something all year and my family decide that they want to come home and make me miss it. FOR GOD SAKE!

 However, what's stolen the show for me is Battlefield 3; it's amazing with the new Frostbite 2 engine War on the Box has never looked more realistic, dust blows across barron wastelands bullets hit the floor and it's causing a shit storm online. I mean, it is amazing and I think it's totally blown MW3 out the water.

Mike Spyderman Mitchell said:
"If Mod Warefare 3 met Battlefield 3 in a dark alley. MW3 wuld get down on it's knees and suck battlefields massive hench cock."

 He isn't wrong and I'm really wanting to get my hands on that.

However, a surprise has emerged in the from EA being NEED FOR SPEED THE RUN. It looks amazing visually but it also looks as though even though it's taken a more adventure type gumball rally style that it is going back to classic NEED FOR SPEED. I think that Mass Effect 3 was also very awesome. What I caught of Ea was pretty darn amazing.

 I really want to see Ubisoft for the new Assassin's Creed; it looks pretty awesome. I just want to get back into those massive environments and hunting people. However, the multiplayer is looking even more refined and awesome. Exciting much? Yeah boy!

Overstrike is also looking good, from Insomniac it's a spy-fi first person shooter.

But hey, E3 is only just getting interesting: so, let's get on it!