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Wednesday, 29 June 2011

POETRY: I see it as a line.

The difference between two polar opposites,
Can be seen as a line.
I see them that way;
Wafer thin,
Some even blurred.
And with that logic
It seems simpler
Life in general,
To see insanity in perfect mental health
To see discourse in the perfect serenity
Right in wrong
Wrong in right
Grey areas,
A sort of peaceful chaos.
As has always been.
In every single living thing...

Monday, 20 June 2011


No, I haven't gone mad and predicted the end of the world or something stupid like that; in fact, I'm just reflecting that my school life at Rushden is coming to an end after Wednesday and I was just wondering...

What's the plan?

Well, obviously for the summer; get a job. It'd be nice to not be sitting on my arse all day really. I'd like to be able to do something and have some WONGA in my pocket at the end of the month and then it prepares me for the all important day of RESULTS.

Now, results day is going to go one of two ways: Good or bad. Simple as that. It is appropriate that I plan for both sides of that coin and I have been. For if it goes well: Go to Sheffield Hallam and live the dream. It's what happens if I fail that stuff is going to be a bit... hectic. First there'll be the issue of not wanting to live with my folks no more once I hit 20; I'd stay in a hostel if needs be but I can't sit and impose on them because I messed up. It's just wrong. So, I think, what I may do is call Connections (y'know the youth work people) and get some back up plans going for apprenticeships in publishing companies or something like that so I can still be involved with literature. It'd be nice. Then I'd have the money to afford a small flat, move out, get my arse on the road and get a successful career after not going Uni. Well, hopefully...

 But you never know I may be stuck here forever (kill me now if that's the case) but I tell you what even if results doesn't quite go my way I know it'll knock me down but I also definitely know that it won't keep me out. SO WATCH OUT!

Thursday, 16 June 2011

BLOG: 2nd Exam Report - English Literature

With 2 out of 3 exams down, you can say I'm pretty content and with English Literature done and dusted it seems like I'm going to have a lot less to do. It also brings about the realisation that this is it; after this next exam I am done with education maybe forever. I don't know yet, I haven't got my results envelope but I felt most confident about the English Literature exam in comparison to all the others thanks to my love of reading. So, I feel good about today, no one else does but I do which counts, I suppose.

 Anyway the first question was a comparison of two prose extracts which admittedly seemed to have a lot of people stumped when we came out and talked about things afterwards. I can understand why we followed the advice of our teachers and where one said poetry would come up and the other said plays; neither actually did. Which I suppose was a bitch but I had mostly read novels so I wasn't short on wider reading for prose. It was an extract from Jude The Obscure and an extract from a book called Disgrace. Now both extracts were pretty much about seduction, in this Disgrace extract a university lecturer was desperately trying to seduce his student; paying her compliments and touching her at every given moment. Whilst in Hardy's book we were privy to the aftermath where a woman had thrown a 'pig's penis' (you can imagine how happy I was to write that in my exam) at Jude to grab his attention. In both extracts the seduction was obvious, the woman tried to seduce Jude and the teacher, Laurie, tried to seduce his student. Simple enough, right?

 What was the difference was the contextual conventions of both pieces; in Hardy's day and age it was women seen as the predatory sex and more seductive; it was their beauty which captivated it and they used it to get their kicks. Whilst men were too good for that obviously, we never did that sort of stuff but we went to the brothel for a good time. Whilst Disgrace dealt with a male taking up the role of not just a seducer but someone who was about to cross a line in the audience's eyes. So the context of both texts had made a hell of a lot of difference in the two texts I saw. Apart from that, both texts were rather similar using the same feral images to describe characters and using a hell of a lot of irony (Laurie mentioned Byron who is tragic and also mentioned Byron's scandal, where as Hardy used a penis to show a female's interest in a male). So question one seemed good. Wider reading wise, I used Wide Sargasso Sea and Great Expectations as they both had a similar trend; the younger of the two texts setting a male as the seducer rather then the older making them female.

 Section 2, was pretty cool too. It featured a play and poem extract and it was pretty straight forward. It asked me to compare their views on sexual relationships. Score. It was Behn's The Rover Vs. Sir Wyatt's poem They flee from me. Where as one talks about it being irresistible and it bringing out inconsistency in men which we could link to Romeo and Juliet and the famous balcony scene; we can also see both used sex as a way to show absolute love. There was also some status issues that I got from it and the fact the restoration begged for bawdy drama after years of having no theatres and heavy censorship. That was pretty much it really, I thought it was pretty good. Some others didn't think. I thought it was okay for me.

 I may have taken extra time but I was pretty confident with my exam today. So...

One more to go!

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

POETRY: Atlas & I

Atlas and I
We’re one in the same –
Two soldiers in the same war
Our shoulders bearing tremendous weights
Our worlds propped up
By the sweat of our brows.

Me just a man,
Him a giant
But these fragile worlds
That we struggle to hold
We take with pride
And hope the best for it.

But imperfect are we
And therefore flawed
And unable to take the weight from others
Their problems, they force on us
Their dramas that unfolds on our backs
And the grip loosens with such additions

And fear flickers across my face
As my fragile world threatens to fall
As my arms begin to give way
The world begins to roll to the floor
My world about to shatter – To be destroyed.
Because I wasn’t strong enough.

And Atlas and I
Our worlds on our backs
Fear the moments of weakness
That take hold
Make us want to give in
Just as we remember how important there worlds are.

And with all the people relying on me;
To hold this world up
To be strong
To not let go, ever.
To be their rock
And for them I will be.

My world on my shoulders,
It can be a burden
It can weigh tonnes
It can seem hopeless
I can seem not enough
But it’s important

Me and Atlas;
We are one in the same –
We protect our worlds.

POETRY: A Real Life Mr. Darcy.

Heroes in real-life
Are all Byronic
Dark and brooding
Not knights in shining armour
All tragic, all misunderstood.

And me, myself, apparently am,
A writer, a gentleman,
A sorry lot.
A rough ride
But a dying breed.

A real life Mr. Darcy
My pride my defence,
My character indefinable
And prejudices
That rule my head.

Keeping a stiff upper lip,
Not letting on,
Not letting others understand
That I can be something;
I could be a hero.

And although you may hate me,
Your opinion of me skewed
I may be narcissistic
In your eyes, I may be the devil
But I am more

This Mr. Darcy has a heart,
I feel, I may not show it
But I do.
I feel for all –
My appearance: a fa├žade.

So, am I oen of those Byronic heroes?
Misunderstood, a surprise,
A heart of gold,
Surrounded by darkness
Hidden from the world.

And now, that you see
See me for all I am
Now I’ve shown you
I can be amiable
I really can.

So me, this walking fiction
A real life Mr. Darcy
Your Byronic hero
A heart of gold –
Just seeming to have too much pride.

BLOG: Poetry's coming back to the Authorial!

 With all that's going on recently I haven't had many opportunities to seriously sit down and have a good old writing session. Any sort of writing I have done I've been preparing and showing to people in relation to The Bridgeport prize; which I still need to write a short story for by the 20th so I can get it in the post and off for the 30th. It's been scary but I'm pretty happy with the support and stuff I've been getting from some people. So, now that poetically I've finished for Bridgeport and I'm now moving on to completing my short story I can now inform you that two new poems shall be on the Authorial today.

 After showing all three poems I considered sending to Bridgeport to certain key individuals, a majority has been reached, a poem selected and now the other two are free to be published on the web (for one of of the conditions was I was not allowed to submit any published work, even self published on the Authorial). This gives me great delight to have some REAL content on the Authorial again. Not that Musings and Blogs aren't real content but more imaginative content I mean. That is what the Authorial is for, it's a place where I leak creativity and show it off to the world. If show it off is the right word. I'm not sure but you'll see TWO new poems tonight and I'm happy with how they turned out.

Anyhow, good luck with any Exams that are going down at the moment guys!

Monday, 13 June 2011

MONDAY MUSING: Maybe if I told you the right words, at the right time?

 Here at the Adderson Authorial, I try to give you some brain ticklers try to get you to think about something I've been thinking about on the Monday's on which I do Monday Musings. Today's thought is half mushy and half philosophical almost as I tackled the very hard question that we all as humans have to ask ourselves at one time and that's this one question:

"How do you tell someone you love them?"

Now, I have a feeling that this is going to encourage some sarcastic responses but seriously just hear me out. In English today, I was thinking about it as we talked abut comparing things to do with love, our exam is about 'Love Through The Ages', so we kind of have to but in this talk it arose to me 'So, it's like comparing how they say I love you' and then another question 'How do I say I love you?'

 And this thought, although small puzzled me to the point where I asked Jen; how I in fact told her that I loved her and she said that I just tell her and show her and I write. So I guess that my ways are pretty bog standard save the writing because not everyone writes their lovers love poetry I guess, it is effort. Then I looked at other people and how they said they love eachother: some do it through nicknames, some did it by showing how they feel, some do it by abuse, some do it through jealousy and some simply do it by sharing space. There are some other methods such as sex and having babies and stuff but I was wondering more about the more subtle ways rather then getting hitched and married.

So, yeah that was my thoughts for today. How do you tell someone you love them? If you want to get involved and tell me how you tell someone special in your own special way then... comment. Let's compare notes maybe we can all help each other out?

Friday, 10 June 2011

BLOG: 1st Exam Report - History

So like I said yesterday, exam season has started for me and today I sat my first exam which was history. The Superpower relations 1945 - 1990; basically, the Cold War.

 Now I've been the positive guy of the exam period; I'm the one not running around like a headless chicken predicting failure of epic proportions and resitting year 13, I don't know why. I just know I can't and that it's important not to; that it's now or never. Yet, as I opened section 1 of the paper my heart sank like a rock. They were the most horrible questions in the world and if I tried to tackle them, they had more muscle then me so they'd easily throw me off. But still, had to do it so instead of doing the one I had no idea about that asked me about the 1970's and to which I replied "What the hell actually happened in the 70's?" I opted for the one I could sort of work with which talked about the arms race as something that stabilised the relationship between the US and USSR in the years 1949 - 1963.

 Now, although I hate the arms race and stuff; this question we'd actually answered before in class I swear, so, in effect I already knew the answer. I knew in my gut that building weapons to kill each other is no way to say you're friends, so... I went with that talking about the dropping of the atomic bomb (even though it was before our allotted time) as the cause of the arms race and with the use of espionage and the desperation of both sides it was obvious the arms race was not actually helpful at all. In fact, the presence of Nuclear weapons made it worse then it already was. So, as well as these spies and stuff the Post Stalin Thaw was a huge part of the time we were allotted and I knew about the Thaw, I'd revised the Thaw so I can rant about how that seems to actually give the impression that the arms race is making things better but in fact with the arms race Peaceful coexistence doesn't really exist. When the other side are also looking at military applications. They aren't being peaceful. So I could go on about that.

 What I actually had to argue was the fact it was the prospect of using nuclear weapons rather then their presence  Korea saw hesitation at the threat of nuclear war on Chinese borders; then we see that in Cuba when the US did not like the fact  nukes were on their doorstep and it cause the Cuban Missle Crisis. Cuba almost kicked off, even with the presence of nukes it was the thought of using them that stopped it.

 And like, yeah, I was behind I was expecting to use my extra time in order to get the question I knew I'd struggle with. That's how bad section 1 was for me. I wasn't scared just worried. But I got through, I was grateful and I knew I could push forward. As you do.

 Section 2 though, fricking BOOM! I mean Reagan... REAGAN!? I've been revising that man, all over him like a rash! And it was pretty sweet. Everything I needed was in the sources and I kept my essay firmly routed in the sources with dribs and drabs of own knowledge here and there because it was a source question. All I knew was the sources agreed with me that Reagan's policy was not what the main cause was; I saw it was more Gorbachev and other stuff that tore down the foundations of the Soviet union. So that question to me was actually sexable I think. Yes, that's right sexable. I would have made that paper feel like a real women, ha ha.

 Anyway, I think it went okay. I pulled it out on Section 2, even though Section 1 was such a pig I managed to make it through and get it done. Even though I now wish I could write in exams like I do on this blog; it'd be nice to be able to articulate like I do here, be as personal and passionate as I am on here but hey-ho. It's done I did my best, I finished with two minutes to go when I was expecting to use my extra time, I didn't though which makes me feel better. Cause I don't feel like a retard now.

So, 1 out of 3 done! Sweeeeet!

Thursday, 9 June 2011

VLOG: You ask, I answered?

With exam season about to start, you know there's going to be alot of exam stress. I know it. You know it. The people stressing know it. But I always have to ask is it necessary to be continually thinking about the negatives with exams when you never know? You can't fail until you know the result, right? So, why whittle about the unknown, we do impulsive things everyday and it doesn't scare us so exams what we are prepared for shouldn't. Well, I believe that so thought in this video I'd deal with it and inject some positivity on the situation at hand.

 Also as well, I've been asked a question that's made me think about things myself and ask the same so today I've also tackled that little nugget.

 All in all a pretty good third instalment, take a look.

Monday, 6 June 2011


Hey there, as you probably know if you're a game freak today is the start of E3 and dude... it's been amazing so far with some epic reveals that I've managed to catch.

 Well, my E3 story does have holes because I wait for something all year and my family decide that they want to come home and make me miss it. FOR GOD SAKE!

 However, what's stolen the show for me is Battlefield 3; it's amazing with the new Frostbite 2 engine War on the Box has never looked more realistic, dust blows across barron wastelands bullets hit the floor and it's causing a shit storm online. I mean, it is amazing and I think it's totally blown MW3 out the water.

Mike Spyderman Mitchell said:
"If Mod Warefare 3 met Battlefield 3 in a dark alley. MW3 wuld get down on it's knees and suck battlefields massive hench cock."

 He isn't wrong and I'm really wanting to get my hands on that.

However, a surprise has emerged in the from EA being NEED FOR SPEED THE RUN. It looks amazing visually but it also looks as though even though it's taken a more adventure type gumball rally style that it is going back to classic NEED FOR SPEED. I think that Mass Effect 3 was also very awesome. What I caught of Ea was pretty darn amazing.

 I really want to see Ubisoft for the new Assassin's Creed; it looks pretty awesome. I just want to get back into those massive environments and hunting people. However, the multiplayer is looking even more refined and awesome. Exciting much? Yeah boy!

Overstrike is also looking good, from Insomniac it's a spy-fi first person shooter.

But hey, E3 is only just getting interesting: so, let's get on it!

Saturday, 4 June 2011

BLOG: X-Men First Class, Sounds class.

 Now as a long time X-Fan; I was way more then excited at the announcement of a new X-Installation. Especially one that took you right back to the beginning; to a young Charles Xavier and Magneto battling it out on the same side like we've always heard about but never saw. It just looks amazing with a cast of awesome characters: I mean, some of it's confusing like Havok's involvement in the film when he is Cyclops' little brother but you know, creative licensing you know.

 And not only is the younger days of these two great leaders awesome but Beast's story and the setting of the film against the cold war as well as long time bad guys The Hellfire Club are setting the visuals up to be amazing. We have Banshee flying, Havok's energy power's, Mystique and Azael. I mean, it's not going to get any better then having James Macavoy on board!


Still not quite fancying the choice on the theme song being Love Love from Take That. I mean, for god sake what on Earth or who on Earth was taking so much crack as to set Take That on an Action packed Super Hero film for God sake. Now all I can imagine is having the gay ramblings of Gary Barlow in the back ground of Magneto kicking some serious ass. Like, seriously now... what the hell?

But I suppose, I should give it a chance. I'm going to go watch it; the nerd I am. Take That or no Take That. So... Let's join the class!