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Monday, 17 October 2011

MONDAY MUSING: Illness sucks.

 I went to the doctors after three weeks of being snuffly and it eventually evolving into some kind of hell born demon disease and now I've been diagnosed with a viral infection. The only problem with such an infection is that a doctor will do NOTHING, because there is nothing they can do as it's all down on you to get some fresh fruit and veg down you as well as some clear fluid.

Now to most this would be a reasonable thing: stay in bed and laze about while stuffing your face with grapes and water; not a bad lot in life, you may not feel well but hey you'll get there. To me though, I hate it because of one simple fact: I hate being ill. Even though it gives me a guilt free pass to be a lazy ass, it's one of the banes of my very existence.

Why you ask?

 Well firstly, I rarely get ill, so when I do it's some sort of hell born demon disease as described above. It never seems to leave and it always is severely painful or unpleasant. Which is not very nice. Sweating, fevers, vomiting and the like have never really been things I enjoy but that always seems to be my symptoms. After nights of not being able to sleep, not being able to eat I just feel terrible and want to lock myself in my room for fear of scaring the poor innocents around me as I turn into some sort of horrible green ill monster. When it does eventually go though, it's almost enough to turn me religious (as it is almost miracle like) and I do like to get up and about straight away. Which leads on to...

Reason number two I don't like being ill is the genuine helplessness and inability to function. I don't like staying in bed, I like to relax but I can't stand not being able to do things and not being able to go out and converse with people or simply stare blindly at the tv. I like being up and about so being knocked off my feet by illness sucks. It really destroys me both physically and mentally. The inability to move a limb is something that really pains me as every tiny ting becomes a chore. It makes me feel helpless and that's a position I've never been entirely comfortable with. So that feeling of helplessness can often lead me to push myself into getting better, which often makes things worse. Which makes being ill suck even more.

 I don't know how it is for everyone else but this is just how I feel towards not feeling well and even though some may disagree with me completely;' I genuinely feel this way. My fever dreams are getting ridiculously uncanny and surreal, so I just hate being ill. Period.